Tag Archives: mentoring

Why Can’t I Be You?

 Why Can't I Be You?

 By: Ronke Alao

It was Monday and the pediatric office where I work was busy as usual. I had taken my lunch and was getting ready to call a mom and her 6 day old set of twins into the exam room. I was excited about this next set of patients. One of the wonderful things about working with a pediatrician is getting to see these cute little people; infants who are new to our world.  One of the twin boys was about average size while the other was smaller. They had come in with their mom and grandma. The grandma took the diaper off of the smaller twin so I could check his temperature, he started crying.

So, I inserted the thermometer in his rectum (as we always do to check temperature on infants), while I cooed and made funny noises to distract him from crying. Next thing I know, he sprayed the trademark infant green poop! No one was ready for  that; not even grandma who was holding him. We laughed about it. I cleaned up the  mess and it was time for the bigger twin to be checked. Surprisingly, he was very calm and collected, wasn't fussy at all. It got me thinking how this twin brothers already had their own seperate personalty even at that age.

I got off work that day and was driving home. While I thought about the joys of being a pediatric nurse; being pooped on ,sneezed on , pee'd on and of course the wonderful smiles that the babies give. The registration plates of the car in front of me got my attention. I'm always drawn to personalized car plates and make an habit of reading every single one I spot on the road.

This one had the inscription, "YCANT IB U" and it only took me about two seconds to figure out that it was "WHY CAN'T I BE YOU?" I thought about that , wondering what it meant. Then it hit me. It was really a question to draw out my uniqueness. Think about it. Why can't I be you? What makes you special that no one else could possibly play "you" better than you can? 

It's a question that some of us struggle with as women while the rest of us don't even consider it, but it has a lot to do with how well we enjoy our marriages and relationships. If we all knew who we were, we would have less conflicts, less strained relationships and more happy and fulfilling ones.

Think about that for a minute. Every woman, single or married, enjoying her relationships, enjoying whatever state she is in – single or married – and looking forward to great things in life. There would be less strife, less jealousy and less women who try to meet the societal standards of beauty. We would all have healthy self-esteems and you know real men love that. It makes us very attractive. Nothing is as sexy as a woman who knows who she is and where she is going. It makes you stand out of the crowd. That is the new sexy.

So tell me, what makes you unique? What makes you different from the woman I see on the street? WHY CAN'T I BE YOU!


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Ronke Alao is a writer who gives time-tested and simple principles to help women enjoy their relationships and marriages. Her methods teaches women how to get past the confusion of dating and getting to the place where they really have fulfilling relationships and marriage.

She is known for her ‘up-close and personal’ style of getting her message across and drawing lessons from her personal experience. She is married to her best friend, Wale, who is her biggest cheerleader. Her online newsletter, EveryWoman’s Heart, is read in over 72 countries.

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