Tag Archives: following your passion.

Follow Your Heart…But Take Your Brain Along


Follow Your Heart…But Take Your Brain Along

By: Ronke Alao

You've probably heard it so many times that you believe it. "Follow your heart". People say that when we are about to make decisions about careers, where to live, what to do in certain situations, but the saying has been made very famous in movies when a girl is about to make a decision as to who to marry. This article discusses the saying as it pertains to marriage. What exactly does it mean to follow one's heart?

"Follow your heart" is an expression that means "do what seems right" or "do what feels right". When we talk about career choices or say food choices, doing what 'seems' right might be great advice but when the subject is about marriage, our sense of what seems right might become skewed. If you've ever been in love, you know exactly what I mean.

Anyone who has ever experienced the euphoria of being "in love" will tell you that thinking objectively in that state is not an option. I remember when my husband and I were dating. Oh boy! Was I ever in love? I was so in love that you could starve me all day, I wouldn't need food. I was just content and happy. The man I had been day dreaming about had asked me out of the blues to be his wife! I was excited out of my mind. My heart was so in it. We got married three years later so I guess you could say I followed my heart but that wasn't all I followed. 

Our hearts and our feelings can be fickle when it comes to love.

Yes, I was young and in love but I knew there were other factors that would affect whether or not we would ultimately be together. Our families had to be in agreement about our proposed marriage. I wasn't going to be married to someone whose family couldn't stand having me around. Some people think it doesn't matter how your fiance's family feels about you but remember, you don't just marry a man, you marry his family. His family adored me and my family loved him too.

It was also important I married someone whom we could agree on things that were most important to me. Though I was in love, I wasn't blind (or I tried not to be).  I wanted kids, and also had plans for the future that I had to make sure my fiance was in agreement about. He also told me about his plans for the future. It was important that I be married to someone who had a dream and  goals they wanted to attain in life.I was also very mindful of how my fiance treated his family members, his mom and sisters especially. 

A man  who disrespects his mom or his sisters will disrespect you at some point.

 As women, we have to deal with our emotions but we also need to be objective or at least get feedback from people around us who love us and aren't blinded by the emotions we can be blinded with.

So should you follow your heart when it comes to love? I'd say it depends on where your heart is headed to!

What do you think? Is love all that matters? Do you just follow your heart all the way or not? I'd love to know what you think.

Leave a comment below!

  Ronke Alao  left her family and fiance behind to relocate  to the United States from Nigeria.  She  faced the challenges of dealing with a long distance relationship. Having being through moments of uncertainty and doubt, she is able to bring compassion and understanding to the table when she speaks to others.Ronke is happily married to the man of her dreams. Her passion is to help women have better relationships with their spouse and others so they can live a fulfilling and rich life. Download her recently  released free E-book- Embracing The Real You.


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