To Moms Who Are Yet To Hold Their Babies – Infertility, Miscarriage And Abortion
By: Ronke Alao
As the week draws to a close and we approach mother’s day, I think about people who would so much love to be called MOM by someone but haven’t yet realized that dream. Many women are born with that innate desire to be mothers but life sometimes doesn’t play out the way we want.
1. There are those who have been battling infertility for so many years and doing all they can – praying, seeking treatments – to have a baby. Let me encourage you and stretch out a hand of fellowship to you. Your hopes and desires will not be cut short. Keep believing, keep praying, keep hoping and keep expecting. While you wait, shower your love on other children. Enjoy life, do not let your entire life be consumed by your desire to have a child. There is a God who loves you very much and sees the desires of your heart. He is all you need. Let him fill any void in your heart as you prepare for motherhood.
2. There are those who know what it is to have a positive pregnancy test and even get a fully stocked nursery for the baby and not carry the baby to term due to a miscarriage. Miscarriages can be very painful and emotional for the couple involved, more so for the woman. To have a baby growing in you and to find out the baby is no more is shattering news to an expectant family. If you have had a miscarriage and waiting for the blessing of a baby or maybe cautiously expecting, be encouraged. You will one day carry your own baby alive and well. Meanwhile, forgive yourself – it is easy to get caught up in guilt trips because you think your baby would have survived if only you did something differently while pregnant. Also forgive anyone who might have made nasty comments to you when you lost your baby. Most people don’t have the right words to say when things like that happen and speak from their own short-sightedness. Don’t let that bother you. Forgive them and let it go.
3. Also we can not but remember those who have been fortunate to get pregnant but chose to end the life of the baby while in the womb. Abortion has been known to cause such heartache and guilt feelings for women who have made that choice at some point in life. Many women who have a history of abortion deal with guilt and feelings of unworthiness even years after an abortion. Even after such women have had their own families and have other children. If you are one of such women, I bring you great news. You have been forgiven! Bring your guilt, shame and feelings of worthlessness before God. Let him take that in exchange for his beauty, strength and peace.
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Ronke Alao is a writer who gives time-tested and simple principles to help women enjoy their relationships and marriages. Her methods teaches women how to get past the confusion of dating and getting to the place where they really have fulfilling relationships and marriage.
She is known for her ‘up-close and personal’ style of getting her message across and drawing lessons from her personal experience. She is married to her best friend, Wale, who is her biggest cheerleader. Her online newsletter, EveryWoman’s Heart, is read in over 72 countries.