Three Reasons To Date A Married Man
By: Ronke Alao
Women who knowingly date married men are often viewed with contempt. Why would anyone choose to be with a man who is already committed in marriage to another woman? Well, if you are single and considering dating a married man, I will give you 5 solid reasons why you should go ahead and do it.
1. It’s Nobody’s Business Who You Date.
Yes, you are an adult and if you’d rather be another woman’s husband, that is your decision. You can live with it. Hopefully, the wife of the man you are dating is a nutcase and when she finds out, things WILL turn violent. That’s cool too. If you go missing, it’s no body’s cup of tea, right? You are an adult. You can deal with the consequences. Whatever evil comes out of it is yours for the keeping. No one needs to feel sorry for you or empathize with you.
2. It Feels Great Being Second-best
It’s every woman’s dream to be second-best isn’t it? It doesn’t matter what he says, “I love you”, “I only care about you”, blah, blah, blah; you know he’s lying. You are pretty sure you’ll always be his second best.
3. It Feels Great To Be Used And ….Dumped
It’s a given, you know you are been used. No need to “suspect” it or hope it’s not happening. You can count on being used and dumped.
Okay, I probably have you confused by now but you get my drift.
There are never any “good” reasons to date a married man. I know sometimes, we women get suckered into it by sweet-talking snakes who camouflage as men but good never comes out of it.
When you are dating a married man, chances are he’s given you ‘genuine’ reasons why he’s cheating on his wife and how miserable she makes him feel. I don’t care whether he’s married to the devil’s cousin; he exchanged vows with her, not you. If he won’t respect that, he’s not worthy to have you as a friend not to talk of having you as his wife someday.
If he says he’s depressed, what are you trying to be to him? His anti-depressant?
Don’t fool yourself into thinking you are helping him. He might be sick, but don’t sign up to be his doctor or therapist. Honey, you need to love yourself past that. You are beautiful and believe it or not, you deserve someone who will LOVE you. A man who is currently cheating on his wife doesn’t have the ability to love you the way you should be loved.
If he says he’s been disrespected or ridiculed by his wife, he’s only fooling you. He is the one who keeps disrespecting his wedding vows, his wife and his kids if he has any.
If he whispers sweet nothings into your ear; “You make me feel alive, important and loved.” don’t believe a word of it.
If you make him feel that important, he would have divorced his wife and married you. Also, a man who cheats on his wife to feel important is sick. Sorry but I have to be frank with you. Marriage is a commitment; it’s not all ice-cream and chocolate. We all have to move beyond wanting to feel good all the time to staying committed to our spouse and staying true to our vows. That is what love is. Real love doesn’t engage in illicit sex. If he really loves you, how many of his family members has he introduced you to as his girlfriend, fiancée or whatever?
Whatever is done in the dark and in secret doesn’t speak love. No, it speaks shame.
I know sometimes, men who cheat on their wives sometimes paint this picture, like they are honorable and all that.
He tells you he is definitely going to divorce his wife. He is just waiting for the right time.
Perhaps he wants his daughter to graduate high school first or his wife has just being diagnosed with cancer and he thinks now is not the time. He makes you think he’s this caring guy who still cares about his terrible wife and his innocent kids right? It’s all Bologna Sandwich (BS)! The truth is he won’t leave his wife for you. He loves having his wife and having you at the same time. He gets a weird fulfillment from that. He doesn’t want to not have his kids with him too.
You can wait for him till you’re grey in the head, but he won’t leave his wife for you.
My dear, stop lying to yourself about how it’s okay and how “his marriage was a mistake in the first place how “ she never really loved him”. If his marriage is hurting, let him deal with it. Don’t let him drag you into his mess. Stop stripping yourself of self-worth. You deserve more than a lying-cheat. God who created you thinks of you as beautiful and precious, don’t let someone use and toss you into the trash can.
You are a treasure and there is a handsome, Prince Charming somewhere who needs to find you. But he won’t as long as you keep hiding behind the cheater and fake prince charming.
What Do You Think?
Let me know what you think about dating a married man.
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Ronke Alao is a writer who gives time-tested and simple principles to help women enjoy their relationships and marriages. Her methods teaches women how to get past the confusion of dating and getting to the place where they really have fulfilling relationships and marriage.
She is known for her ‘up-close and personal’ style of getting her message across and drawing lessons from her personal experience. She is married to her best friend, Wale, who is her biggest cheerleader. Her online newsletter, EveryWoman’s Heart, is read in over 72 countries.