Category Archives: Sex

I Am Still A Virgin, So What?!

I Am Still A Virgin So What?!

By: Ronke Alao

Years ago, society used to place so much value on a woman who had high moral standards and respected her own body enough not to give in to any and every man who asks for sex.  There used to be a point in history, particularly in African culture, when a marriage could be legally dissolved if the groom could provide proof that he didn't meet his bride a virgin on their wedding night.  It's the 21st century and this practice has been done away with for the most part.  

In this present age where technology has pretty much taken over the world and sexual liberty seems to be the modern way of life,not many men still place a premium on a woman who is "untouched". Some do but it isn't as generally expected as it used to be. It is not unheard of for teenagers to make a game out of their sexuality, trying to outsmart one another by being the first to lose their virginity. Then of course, the one who is still a virgin at 18 can be made fun of. To avoid this, the "old virgin" tries to keep his or her "state" a secret. 

Contrary to what you might think, virgins are not frustrated about their sexuality, they are not frigid or sexually disabled.

Well if you are one of those who make fun of your friends who are still virgins, I've got news for you. Being a virgin when you are unmarried is still honourable. Contrary to what you might think, virgins are not frustrated about their sexuality, they are not frigid or sexually disabled, they are not cowards, they are not impotent or sick and they don't need you to fix them up with a sex partner,thank you.  

There are people who still choose to remain virgins before marriage and they don't need to be ridiculed. Modern society has grown so ridiculous as to think sex is one of the basic human needs. No. Food, clothing and shelter are the basic needs that humans can't live without.  

So why am I writing on this topic? I want my brothers and sisters who choose to remain "untouched" and save sex for marriage to know that they are wise and not foolish like the world would have them believe.  You have chosen to honour God and also honour yourself. When you do meet that special someone that you just might be spending the rest of your life with, you have a higher chance of making the right judgement because your decision is not clouded by emotions that erupt as an aftermath of sex.  

When you do get married, your spouse knows he/she can trust you because if you didn't give in to sex before marriage, you most likely wouldn't give in to an extramarital affair.  It's a matter of integrity, don't give in to  the pressure. Also, do yourself a favour and make friends with those who are like-minded not those who make you feel stupid for your decision.  Years from now, you will be so glad you did.  


What do you think? What should the attitude of other people be towards adults that are still virgins? Leave your comment ===> here



Ronke Alao is a writer who gives time-tested and simple principles to help women enjoy their relationships and marriages. Her methods teach women how to get past the confusion of dating and getting to the place where they really have fulfilling relationships and marriage.

She is known for her ‘up-close and personal’ style of getting her message across and drawing lessons from her personal experience. She is married to her best friend, Wale, who is her biggest cheerleader. Her online newsletter,EveryWoman’s Heart, is read in over 90 countries.   Download her free E-book– Embracing The Real You.


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